Blazes and Cairns: Week of June 26, 2017

I’ve been working on my relationship with the Universe, god, spirit–whatever–lately. Mostly in terms of trust.

I feel like we’re in couples therapy. And just when I feel like I’m doing most of the talking, something like what happened on Saturday happens.

This past weekend was the first time in I don’t know how long that I had three days in a row with minimal-to-no plans. I spent Saturday entirely by myself. It was glorious.

I forget how much magic can take place when I spend even 48 hours getting quiet, going inward, and nurturing myself hardcore.

I had to laugh at myself this weekend because I tried to keep working at the pace I have been going, which has been exhausting. On Saturday, I had grand plans to make myself a big brunch and then head over to my bextie’s house to water their plants and then do some work for my business while there.

On my way to their house, I was going to stop by the library to pick up a book that had just come in for me: Gabby Bernstein’s The Universe Has Your Back (I know, right?). As I turned onto the road that would take me to the parking lot, a tow truck was in the process of towing a car from the side of the street and had the entire street blocked.

I practiced deep breathing for a good 30 seconds before giving a little tap of my horn–all I wanted was like 3 seconds to pass the tow truck and be on my way. The driver signaled that I needed to turn around and find another path.

I’ll spare you what happened next, mostly because I was not my best self, like, at all–I was reacting from the place where I had a set plan that was going to get done that day and this guy was clearly impeding it.

So, I turned around, found another way to the library, checked out my book and then carried on to my bextie’s house. When I got to their house, I went to unlock the front door and realized that the key to their house was not on my key ring.

I didn’t have the key. I couldn’t get in.

My mind scrambled: Maybe I had taken it off of my key ring? Maybe it had fallen off?

I had no idea. I went back home and searched all of the likely places it might be.

It was nowhere to be found.

For those of you who don’t know me well yet, here’s the thing: I don’t lose shit. Like ever. So it’s of extra note when it does happen.

I sent a text to a friend about the *possibility* that the key had fallen off in her backyard during a Solstice gathering and mentioned where I had set my stuff in her yard.

She found the key in the tall grass by the fence, exactly where I had said it might be.

I was deeply grateful for two reasons on Saturday: that my friend found the key and that the Universe intervened on my behalf.

The message felt pretty clear to me: let go of whatever plans I had to be busy and do work. Do nothing. Rest. Relax.

So, I committed to that and reset my intention for the day: to only do things that helped me feel rested, rooted, and nurtured. I alternated between watching Netflix and reading the book I had just picked up.

I napped. I meditated. I unpacked two boxes and hung stuff up on the walls of my bedroom.

I cooked a delicious dinner. I gave myself a foot massage. I let in a lot of silence.

I trusted that there was nothing outside of me that was going to bring me what I needed most: rest and a sense of groundedness.

This week, the Ace of Roots wants us to get back to the basics–to the very roots of our sense of groundedness and well-being.

The Roots suit speaks of the material world, our resources, and our bodies. The Ace is the initiator in all of the suits, so the Ace of Roots is the very essence of ground, of roots, of ourselves.

A pattern I am trying to break in my life currently is overworking–working myself into exhaustion which I support with an empty promise to myself to slow down when–and only when–I achieve whatever thing I am working towards.

I am filled with passion and a fiery work ethic, and I am prone to burn out. I am working to find balance right now. I am working to honor my limitations before pushing myself past a limit.

Spoiler alert: the point where I am cursing out tow truck drivers for doing their jobs, losing keys, and generally being an unpleasant human being is past that limit.

In this fast-paced place, I forget that I am the source of my peace. I begin to feel graspy and demanding of others: I search for security in texts and connections and Facebook likes and productivity and all kinds of external validation.

In those moments, I become one of those trees–we’ve all seen them–that once stood tall on the edge of some body of water but now leans over it, its root system exposed. I am leaning towards something else to give me life. And my own root system is compromised because of that.

Although the energy of June has been less intense than the change and chaos of May, things have still been settling this month. We’ve had to let our eyes adjust to the new landscape before us. We’ve been taking inventory and sourcing our courage. We’ve been resting.

We have the opportunity this week to remember that we already have everything we need. Whatever new journey we’re currently embarking on, we have all we need to accomplish it.

We just need to keep engaging in the practices that nourish our roots–that make them grow stronger and deeper.

Use the energy this week to get back to the basics. Engage in practices that make you feel rooted, that make you feel safe and secure. Practice gratitude. Acknowledge your abundance.

Listen to your body.

I know that many of us are disconnected from our bodies. I know that for queer and trans folks, our relationship with our bodies can be a tricky, complicated, and painful one.  

And they hold so much wisdom about the things we need. Our body is the thing that literally touches the ground. It is the vehicle that roots us to this earth.

Feed it. Nurture it. Rest it. Trust it.

Take an inventory of your resources this week: what are the solid structures that you can see and feel in your life right now?

What are your resources? Remember that resources are both tangible (e.g., shelter, income, a community) and also include the gifts and skills we bring to the world.

Whether it’s our gift with words, our ability to make others feel seen and heard, our skill with finding the light in the midst of darkness, or our ease in showing up for others generously, we should recognize and honor these resources.

We should feel their fullness in our lives. We should trust and depend on them this week. We should send them deep into the ground to take root and help support us.

Questions for reflection as you move through this week:

  • What are your resources, both tangible and also in terms of the gifts you bring to the world?
  • What practices help you feel nourished and grounded?
  • Are there ways could you honor your body more?

May you feel safe and secure.
May you trust that you already have everything you need to move forward.
May you stand firmly in place, drawing nourishment from your own roots

With much gratitude,

P.S. Speaking of drawing nourishment from your own roots: I have an exciting new offer! I will be offering monthly meditations and suggestions for grounding rituals. These will be available as audio downloads. If you sign up for my newsletter before July 1, I will send the July recording to you for free! You can sign up for my newsletter below.

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