August 2019 Meditation: You Are the Creator of Your Story

Do you remember how full of light you were when you were brought into this world? You were radiant and wild and beautiful. Anything was possible. Everything was possible. You were a child who wanted the whole world. Given all that has happened in this human life of yours, it makes sense that your light feels dimmed, weakened. It makes sense that the world seems small and that possibility stretches…

July 2019 Meditation: You Are Safe

That might be hard to believe right now. You might think to yourself: I’ve never felt safe in this lifetime. And that’s understandable given all that has happened in your life. You have a litany of reasons to believe that the world is an unsafe place. That people and life are not to be trusted. However: we also know that you remember what it feels like to be full of…

June 2019 Meditation: Trust Your Timing

It makes sense that trying to control things makes you feel safer in the world. Of course, sweet child. You come from a land of chaos and inconsistency—you were the only one you could reliably count on. Here’s the thing though: when you grip something so tightly, when you work so hard to make a thing happen, there’s no room for magic to come in and do its thing. When…

May 2019 Meditation: Move Towards

I know it’s probably the last thing you want to do right now. Right now you might feel hurt, scared, or alone. You might feel triggered or unsafe. You most definitely are feeling vulnerable. Remember that you are love. Remember that you are loved. Remember that it is the illusion of being separate that creates those feelings of being hurt, scared, and alone. Remember that you’re not moving towards for…

Blazes and Cairns: Week of August 16, 2017

I have an announcement to make: after this week, I will be publishing Blazes and Cairns on a monthly basis. The posts will serve as monthly forecasts instead of weekly ones. The next one will be out on Friday, September 1. Monthly meditations and grounding rituals will resume then as well. If we’re friends on Facebook, you may have seen the personal essays I’ve been writing and sharing there. (If…

Blazes and Cairns: Week of August 9, 2017

“What are you feeling?” This is the question my therapist kept asking me as she held my body in various stretches and positions. This was my first and only session of yoga therapy with a therapist I had been seeing for awhile. When she first suggested we do a yoga therapy session I was hesitant for multiple reasons. First, any practice that involves me moving my body in front of…

Blazes and Cairns: Week of August 2, 2017

Dream: November 16, 2011 I wake up face down on the cold, tiled floor of the church I grew up attending, this floor of patchwork tiles that look like stones: grays, reds, blues; some sharp with angles, some perfectly square but always cold. I push myself up in the darkness and slowly walk toward the closed double doors that open into the sanctuary– the holiest of places– where words are…

Blazes and Cairns: Week of July 26, 2017

In the winter of 2015, I was deeply unhappy with my life. I was struggling in my job, my relationship, and the city I had moved to the summer before. I was miserable and feeling pretty hopeless about things getting any better. Somehow I stumbled across Marie Forleo’s B-School–an online school for entrepreneurs–and knew it would be a game-changer for me. I watched her free promo videos and took endless…

Blazes and Cairns: Week of May 8, 2017

It’s a moment I will always remember: walking to class as a graduate student in Madison, WI and thinking to myself: I CANNOT BE TRANSGENDER, followed by a wave of nausea and panic. And then an immediate shoving down of those feelings. For the next 3 years or so. I don’t remember what prompted that thought, but I can remember my aversion and fear so clearly. I even remember what…